It’s Lundi Gras, and in the spirit of Mardi Gras festivities I offer you the worst recipe I’ve ever encountered in print. See, I collect community cookbooks, and these lil’ gems are often loaded with recipes of questionable quality. For every amazing gumbo or interesting yeast bread, the reader usually has to wade through a sea of duds.
Tucked inside “Sallie Moore’s Collection of Recipes”, published by the good United Methodist Women of Franklin, LA, I found IT. Yes, the worst recipe ever. The recipe, handwritten on the “Salads” section intro page, is intended to pay tribute to the eponymous Ms. Sallie, a pillar of the Franklin Methodist Women. (I’m sure she was a lovely person, despite the recipes; I certainly mean no disrespect to her sainted memory, or to the Christian endeavors of the aforementioned women.)
“Congealed Cabbage–Pkg lemon gelatin. 1 teaspoon salt, dash of pepper, pt. hot water, 2 tablespoons vinegar, 1 teaspoon grated onion, 1 1/2 cup shredded cabbage, 1/3 cup diced pickles, 1/2 tablespoon pimentos. Combine gel[atin], cabbage, salt, vinegar, and hot water. Chill slightly [to] thicken. Add remaining ingredients. Makes 12 servings.”
There you have it, friends. The worst recipe ever. A jiggly amalgamation of lemon jello, cabbage, pickles, grated onion, with a colorful jolt of pimentos. Aspic’s forgotten, ugly cousin. You just try and top this one…..
Bouillie 
Oh WOW.
Just throw some strips of bologna (the really pink kind) in there and you’ve got a main course!
And it makes 12 servings—so much to share! Or is because people can only choke down two forkfuls, just to be polite?
A favorite of mine I saw somewhere is weanies ‘n tortellinis. Has an international flair to really impress your guests! And for dessert there’s “dump cake”, so named, I believe, because you dump all yer cans of fruit in there along with a box of cake mix. Meal’s followed by a group glucose reading.
Weenies n tortellinis sounds almost upscale, and dump cake isn’t so bad if you use real fruit. I can think of absolutely nothing redeemable about congealed cabbage.
This sounds worse than sending someone a cement mixer at the bar!
A friend in L.A. and I used to exchange worst recipes when we encountered them. I wish I had a file. I’m pretty sure the cat litter box cake was one, and there was a so-called cookie recipe consisting only of karo syrup, cocoa and sugar. Worse than your jello recipe above, in my opinion, was a Thanksgiving contribution by a member of a family with whom I used to share holiday dinners in my early years in California. Hers was a jello salad including canned peas (need I say more). And there’s the now famous hamburger-between-two-slices-of-Krispy-Kreme-donuts of Paula Deen. So although I wouldn’t choose to eat the congealed cabbage salad, I think there are more execrable recipes lurking in the shadows.
Cat litterbox cake? Do tell.
Oh, you’ve never seen that one? It is made in a rectangle and decorated to resemble a cat litter box, complete with a few tootsie rolls to . . . well, you get the picture.