It’s Lundi Gras, and in the spirit of Mardi Gras festivities I offer you the worst recipe I’ve ever encountered in print. See, I collect community cookbooks, and these lil’ gems are often loaded with recipes of questionable quality. For every amazing gumbo or interesting yeast bread, the reader usually has to wade through a sea of duds.
Tucked inside “Sallie Moore’s Collection of Recipes”, published by the good United Methodist Women of Franklin, LA, I found IT. Yes, the worst recipe ever. The recipe, handwritten on the “Salads” section intro page, is intended to pay tribute to the eponymous Ms. Sallie, a pillar of the Franklin Methodist Women. (I’m sure she was a lovely person, despite the recipes; I certainly mean no disrespect to her sainted memory, or to the Christian endeavors of the aforementioned women.)
“Congealed Cabbage–Pkg lemon gelatin. 1 teaspoon salt, dash of pepper, pt. hot water, 2 tablespoons vinegar, 1 teaspoon grated onion, 1 1/2 cup shredded cabbage, 1/3 cup diced pickles, 1/2 tablespoon pimentos. Combine gel[atin], cabbage, salt, vinegar, and hot water. Chill slightly [to] thicken. Add remaining ingredients. Makes 12 servings.”
There you have it, friends. The worst recipe ever. A jiggly amalgamation of lemon jello, cabbage, pickles, grated onion, with a colorful jolt of pimentos. Aspic’s forgotten, ugly cousin. You just try and top this one…..
Just throw some strips of bologna (the really pink kind) in there and you’ve got a main course!
And it makes 12 servings—so much to share! Or is because people can only choke down two forkfuls, just to be polite?
A favorite of mine I saw somewhere is weanies ‘n tortellinis. Has an international flair to really impress your guests! And for dessert there’s “dump cake”, so named, I believe, because you dump all yer cans of fruit in there along with a box of cake mix. Meal’s followed by a group glucose reading.
Weenies n tortellinis sounds almost upscale, and dump cake isn’t so bad if you use real fruit. I can think of absolutely nothing redeemable about congealed cabbage.
This sounds worse than sending someone a cement mixer at the bar!
A friend in L.A. and I used to exchange worst recipes when we encountered them. I wish I had a file. I’m pretty sure the cat litter box cake was one, and there was a so-called cookie recipe consisting only of karo syrup, cocoa and sugar. Worse than your jello recipe above, in my opinion, was a Thanksgiving contribution by a member of a family with whom I used to share holiday dinners in my early years in California. Hers was a jello salad including canned peas (need I say more). And there’s the now famous hamburger-between-two-slices-of-Krispy-Kreme-donuts of Paula Deen. So although I wouldn’t choose to eat the congealed cabbage salad, I think there are more execrable recipes lurking in the shadows.
Cat litterbox cake? Do tell.
Oh, you’ve never seen that one? It is made in a rectangle and decorated to resemble a cat litter box, complete with a few tootsie rolls to . . . well, you get the picture.