File this one under “grumpy”…here’s a list of foodstuffs I just don’t get:
- Fried chicken tenders (or nuggets) and honey mustard (or other goopy, sweet, or mayo-laden dipping sauce): now, fried chicken is a fine thing, but I simply DO NOT UNDERSTAND how fried boneless, skinless chicken chunks have come to dominate the menus of low-end chains, fast food joints, and school cafeterias. The whole freakin’ point of fried chicken is the SKIN, so why is everybody so crazy about skinless fried chicken?
- Oversized burritos bloated with rice and beans: the humble burrito has saved me from death by hunger on many a day, but I can’t seem to develop a taste for the oversized, California-style belly bombs bursting with cheap fillers. Make my burrito on the small size, neatly wrapped, and full of tasty stuff like chargrilled chicken or beef, roasted peppers, onions, a good salsa. Save the beans & rice for a side dish, please.
- Raw kale in salads: y’all, that stuff is tough. I don’t care if it is a superfood guaranteed to make me taller, smarter, and impervious to cancer, it chews like silage. I LIKE kale, but can we go back to cooking it?
- Frozen daiquiris dispensed out of a machine: (I know–if this gets around, somebody’s gonna show up at my house and revoke my Louisiana voting rights over this one.) The artificially colored & flavored, adult-alcoholic-snowball concoctions are too sweet by a mile.
Sorry to be such a curmudgeon today. I’ll be more cheerful tomorrow….