Mes amis, hurricane season is right around the corner. (It officially begins on June 1st.) It’s time to start drawing down your frozen food resources! Just in case we experience bad weather this year, you don’t want those dry-aged ribeyes, frozen turkeys, whole flounders, and gallons of gumbo to go to waste. So open up the side-by-side, dig down into the deep freeze, and make a list of the contents. Eat those things you’ve been saving for later. Be brave and defrost something with no label. Give away some of it to a hungry friend or neighbor, ’cause you don’t want to haul all of it with you should you need to flee, and you sure as hell don’t want to clean it out of a warm freezer, a week later.
(Don’t eat all the gumbo–it might open a few doors should you find yourself without shelter and stuck on the roadside during an evacuation drive. You never know who’ll stop to help if you hold out a sign that says “homemade gumbo.”)
You can save that gumbo for my house! I am making preparations now for my Baton Rouge evacuation center! You’re all welcome!
Bite your tongue: I don’t want to do any evacuating, no matter how hospitable the welcome is.