My local W-D is  a basic southern grocery store, offering all the finest in Tyson & Con-Agra processed, frozen foods, a wide selection of smoked & pickled pig parts, and an infrequent odd lot or two of organic produce.  This store does not reliably offer fresh ginger, non-rancid coconuts in the shell, or fingerling potatoes….so I was very happy when it started offering Murray’s Chicken products last year, a nice alternative to Sanderson Farms’ poultry-factory finest.

My happiness was short-lived:  the pricey whole chickens apparently didn’t sell, and the selection of Murray’s items has shrunk in recent months to just two items:  italian chicken sausage and pre-formed, pre-seasoned chicken patties/burgers.  I can’t summon up much enthusiasm for chicken sausages of any kind, but I gave the patties a whirl today, lured by a $3 coupon.

Sigh.  Why didn’t I follow my usual rule? (Here’s the rule:  don’t buy pre-fab meat items unless they’re sourced from a Cajun smokehouse!)  The raw patties smelled fine, a little fragrant with onion and speckled with a bit of black pepper.  I fired up my Mini Green Egg and cooked the patties according to package instructions, just 4 minutes per side.  They smelled fine, browned just a bit, and looked mighty fine at the end of 8 minutes.

Looks can be deceiving.  These patties had the texture of rubber bands, or pre-chewed bubble gum, or running-shoe insoles (I was gellin’, except the gel was lunch).  Now I’m stuck with three uneaten patties, which will require significant rehabilitation to be edible.  I guess I can slice them thinly, cover in salsa, beans, and sour cream:  a burrito can cover many culinary ills.