Thanksgiving: fried turkeys and handguns

This year, it’s the New York Times telling us that frying turkeys is downright dangerous.  Is it just me, or are city folks & Northerners just plain dumb?  Yes, you do need to follow instructions, defrost the turkey, figure out how much oil is required, and dry the turkey thoroughly.  Yes, you do need to do this outside, not under the carport or in the garage or basement or under a tree.  Yes, you do need to remain sober and have strong arms to lift the turkey in & out of the pot.  But, heck, it ain’t rocket science, y’all.  And frying still produces a damn fine bird, no matter what the nutritional neurotics & safety hysterics think about the process.

God forbid the NY Times folks try to make a roux with several gallons of oil over a propane burner in a stiff breeze….hot roux is like napalm.  Just think what would happen if hordes of New Yorkers stirred too quickly and splattered themselves!  Potential disfiguring burns!  Possible presence of trans-fats, or worse, saturated fats!  [This concludes the anti-yankee portion of this blog for today.  Thank you for your patience.]

Addendum:  The Times quoted me in the 11/26 print edition, page A26 of the national edition.  “The same people who ‘fear’ frying turkeys probably are afraid of handguns.  Again, not dangerous if properly maintained & handled with respect.”

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